Happiness By Choice

On any given day we are faced with choices. We choose the car that we buy, the route we take to work, the relationships we foster, the clothes that we wear and the food that we eat. There are so many decisions to make and we tend to make them one way or another. But did you ever think that being happy is a choice? Ushering in a sense of gratitude and consciously deciding to be happy is indeed a choice!

I wake up in the morning and repeat the word "happy" over and over again until a smile appears on my face. I could be miserable if I wanted to be. It's not hard. I could tell myself that I am not making enough money, that I am not pretty enough, that my relationships are failures, etc. but I choose not to do that. That is a route that I do not want to take because it only leads to unhappiness and misery.

Fostering happiness and making it a way of life requires a commitment to yourself, your ideals and your social network. You know what you want out of life and you can decide how you deal with unexpected setbacks. It's not just about finding happiness, it's about living happiness every day. I firmly believe that the journey is what makes us who we are.

If you are surrounded by constantly negative people then it will be difficult to find your happiness. Some people always criticize and some people never think anything or anyone is good enough for them. I have seen this type of mentality spread from one person in a group to the entire group! THAT is how powerful those words and ideas are! Cultivating a positive social network is extremely important and one way to continue on your journey of happiness.

Decide you want to be happy, decide that you are happy and surround yourself with people who want similar things.

Forgive a Trespasser

As I was walking my dogs the other morning I noticed that one of the grocery bags that I keep in my car was laying on the ground. I didn't think anything of it until I saw that my car had been broken into. Everything was strewn around, thrown in the backseat. I opened the trunk and realized that several items were missing. It was upsetting simply because it's uncomfortable to know that someone was in your space without your permission. Not only that but I had a lot of things in my car that were meaningful to me. Sadly for the thieves, there wasn't too much monetary worth to the things that they took.

This intrusion rattled me for several hours. I mulled over it as I took a walk in the cold. I started wondering if there was a reason for what had happened. I even evaluated my own actions to see if I had somehow brought something negative towards me. I was very tense as I realized that many of my personal belongings were now gone. Some were found by neighbors, discarded among the leaves in their yards. It was mostly uncomfortable to see my personal objects exposed to the world.

Upon further reflection, I decided that I was fortunate that the only things that were taken were objects. No one was hurt in the process and I am thankful for that. I make no excuses for the action of the individual or individuals who took part in this trespass but I decided to let it go.

I woke up this morning and thanked the universe for channeling the necessary wisdom that I required. I felt less tense and I was in better spirits. Desperation causes people to do a lot of things that are out of their character. I'm not sure what the thieves state of mind was but at this point it doesn't matter. What's done is done. In one final act of letting it all go I decided to write a letter to the person or persons who took from me.

The Elegant Fox

I took an early morning walk today and as the sun was filtering through the almost bare trees, I saw a small animal scurry through the brush. I stopped and looked at the animal and realized that it was a fox. I called out to it and it stopped in its tracks, turned around and majestically sat down upon a rock. For several moments we stared at each other. I was intoxicated by it's beautiful red fur, long, full tail and stunning facial features. I thought how outstanding nature is to give us such a variety of animals, trees and people to look at. The fox and I shared a few moments of silence between us and I smiled at it because I was so happy to have encountered this beautiful being before I continued my morning routine.

What I took away from this brief exchange was that you never know what the universe is going to bring to you. Expect the unexpected and don't be afraid of it. For me, it was a great way to start the crisp morning. It woke me up and I gave thanks to nature for providing such a magnificent animal. If only I could have gotten closer!!!

Today's lesson: revel in even the smallest of coincidences.
I found a beautiful red leaf mixed with large yellow ones and I was in awe. Yes, you too can be in awe of little things. Just give it a shot! It will make you a much more grateful person.

Mind Over Matters

Sometimes being positive isn’t enough. Tidal waves of negativity surround us, engulf us until we can no longer see or hear anything but the negativity. These forces are powerful and they drown our inner voice. Perhaps our inner voice is a part of the negativity. The thickness of the dark cloud can infect the mind. There was a time when the physical sickness and mental anguish that my mother went through invaded every part of my life. I was paralyzed with fear and every thought that I had was negative. I couldn’t fight the thought that she was going to die. She was struggling through cancer and the chemotherapy was changing her on a daily basis. I watched as her body changed, as her attitude changed and how the strain of the illness ravaged our family. There were days I was angry and days I couldn’t stop the tears. I had every right to be angry and dismayed but I didn’t know what to do with those emotions. They were unproductive and they ultimately damaged my life. Riddled with anxiety and fear, not only could I not help my mother but I also forgot who I was.

One or two negative thoughts can quickly spread to much more than that. They can become a part of your existence if you let them. I allowed them to follow me minute by minute, day by day. My mother survived the cancer. Sadly, I didn’t realize how fantastic it was that she was cured as I was stuck in the cycle of negativity. How could I probably rejoice when I was stuck in misery? My fear was that she would get sick again and that this time she wouldn’t survive. Instead of spending time with her and being gracious for the moments we shared, I was fraught with worry. Luckily this story doesn’t end on a negative note. She is still alive and kicking and has built a better life for herself.

On the other hand, it took me a very long time to come to grips with my own problems. I realized that the only way that I could get over my crippling fear was to actually accept the fact that the cycle of life is natural and inevitable. We are born and then we die. It’s not a callous concept to recognize and accept. It is simply a fact. I had to admit that my mother would one day die and that I would have to accept that.

This was very difficult for me. I fought the notion and found myself confused and sad. One night, I accepted it. However, it didn’t take just one night to accept it. It took several nights that became weeks. One never knows how long it will take to accept things in our life that create such anxiety. I had to learn to heal on my own.

First, accept your fear. Whatever it may be it is valid in your mind. Even if it is not rationale, it is still a fear that you possess. So take a moment and listen to your thoughts. Accept them and whatever feelings they may cause. I think that sometimes the acceptance phase may last longer than a few days. I know that I had to accept by constantly thinking about the fear that was gripping me so tightly.

Second, wallow in your fear. Yes, it seems odd but you need to accept and then embrace whatever it is that is crippling you. You need to know the feeling that you get each time this thought is invoked. What does the fear do to you? Ok, great! Now you know exactly what is going on in your mind and in the pit of your stomach.

Third, consider whether there is something you can do about this fear. My fear was completely out of my control. There is nothing that I could do to prevent sickness or death. When it comes to these things I am ultimately powerless. We all are. So in my case, there was nothing in this world I could do to change the fate of those I love.

Fourth, let it go. Try to let it go. It won’t necessarily happen overnight but you will reach a point of satisfaction once you are able to see more clearly.

Fifth, replace your fear with something positive. Change the negative way you speak to yourself about the fear. Find a hobby or a mantra that can replace your anxious thoughts.

Sixth, repeat! Always try to find your way back to a positive notion even when there is something so heavy weighing on you. It took a very long time for me to be get through my unfounded fear and I always have to remind myself that I am not in control of such situations.

Tunnel vision and waves of fear will always stop us from reaching our full potential. On the other hand, we are allowed to worry and we are allowed to feel. Just don’t let it get out of control. Recognize and admit all of this so that you can move forward with happier moments in your life.

Mind Traffic

Sitting through traffic for several hours a day can be quite frustrating. The stop and go motion of the car, all the red break lights, honking, the elevated anger surrounding you. These all take a toll on the way our day begins and continues. I have found myself driving and my shoulders are tense and hands are tightly gripping the wheel. I have to consciously tell myself to relax and release the tension in my shoulders. I try to look around me at all the cars and the people operating them. Obviously I can only have a quick glance in to another person’s life because I have to focus on safety but most of the time I see the same thing. People looking worn, tired and listless. Traffic takes a toll on people. It is aggravating and puts you on edge.

I have tried to come up with ideas on how to combat traffic fatigue because I don’t like the constant tension that I find myself in and I feel that if I don’t take care of it early on then it will freely flow to the rest of my day, wreaking havoc on my happiness.

First thing to do is to give yourself ample time to get where you are going. I know that this is easier said than done. Rushing to get things done seems to be ingrained in our existence. Maybe more so in the United States and in the DC metro area. I have tricks that work for me but may not work for everyone. I will share my methods and perhaps some of them will resonate with you!

1)   When the alarm goes off in the morning I do not hit the snooze button. Boy am I tempted to sometimes! But various studies have shown that the amount of time that the snooze button gives you is not ample for any productive sleep so when I hear that alarm I instantly begin to stretch. A sun salutation and a few arm circles. I like to add in a forward bend with child’s pose to activate all of my muscles. When I’m feeling overzealous I will take to a yoga video for 30 minutes.

2)    I thank the universe for giving me another minute, hour, day to live. There are no certainties and I could have passed on in my sleep but I didn’t! I am here, now, today!

3)    I put on a happy song, dance and sing while I put on my work clothes. I have two dogs so I typically engage my dogs in these silly routines. They need to feel the love too! I’ll sing to them and dance with them and I believe that even with the passive looks on their faces, they are actually enjoying themselves.

4)   Take a brisk walk with the dogs. While I am walking I choose to notice the beauty of the morning. This morning it was very dark but there was this captivating wind coming from all around. The trees were swaying in harmony and I took a moment to close my eyes and listen. Naturally that brief moment put a smile on my face. Bring it on world!

5)  While in the car I will listen to meditation music if I am awake enough but then I will mix it up with a dose of upbeat music and talk radio. I choose to stay away from the news in the morning and I also steer away from traffic reports. It is what it is. I don’t want to wake up to tragic news and hearing how jammed the entire area is won’t help to put me in a good mood.

6)     I clear my mind and look at all the different cars and the people in them. I wonder what those people go through every day. Some people are eating a quick breakfast while others are smoking a cigarette. I’ve even seen people reading! I’m not judging them based on the safety of their actions. Instead, I like to see how similar we all are. If I catch someone’s gaze I will flash a smile or a wave. A lot of people look away immediately and some are visibly annoyed by my chipper interaction. In fact, my own sister doesn’t appreciate my happy morning side. I don’t know where I get it from but it’s there!

7)     If traffic is really bad I turn my attention to my breath. Steady, deep breathing helps balance my brain and bring me back to peace.

8)  The tenseness in my shoulders and arms is something I have to pay attention to constantly. Every ten minutes I do a body scan to see how each part of my body is feeling. That is when I notice that I am holding tension in a particular spot. If it’s my shoulders, I release the tensions, roll them a few times and imagine my healing breath going straight to the spot that needs the attention.

9)   Don’t engage in the constantly shifting lanes and getting aggressive just to pass one or two cars. It’s not worth it! If the traffic is that bad then moving a few feet just to pass someone going gravely slow will not change anything. It will only aggravate you more and bring back tension. Move steadily and safely.

10)  Get some fresh air if possible. Open the window and feel nature. It’s simply refreshing.

Traffic can turn a good day in to a bad one without us even realizing it. Let’s try to change the congestion in to something that helps clarify our thoughts and energize us for the day ahead.

Low Energy Day

There are days when my energy levels are extremely low. I may have had a restful night but for some reason I wake up and I'm exhausted. There could be several reasons for this such as impending illness, lack of quality sleep, etc. Other times it just happens and we don't have a readily available reason. Here are a few techniques I use to pull me out of a low energy funk.

1) Turn on some fast paced music and do a little dance as I'm getting ready for work,
2) Hug a pup.
3) Sing a song.
4) Force myself to smile even when the frown seems to be plastered permanently on my face.
5) Take a spoonful of honey. This usually gives me a boost in energy if my blood sugar is too low.
6) Listen to a funny radio station.
7) Relax my body because it is usually tense at this point, which further depletes my energy.
10) Energy tapping! (I'll get in to this at a later time)
11) Eat warm, hearty foods. Sometimes we are just low on fuel.
12) Stretch often. Touch your toes and raise your hands to the air.
13) Try alternate nostril breathing. Use your thumb and forefinger to close one nostril while breathing in through the other nostril. Breathe deep, pause, then plug the other nostril and exhale. This is a brain balancing exercise. Repeat several times and then just breathe regularly.
14) I don't use caffeine to give me a boost but for some people that might work. Instead, I drink a whole lot of water. The first thing I do when I wake up is drink water and it has changed the way that I function throughout the day.
15) Stick to the citrus! Your body might need some good old fashioned Vitamin C. Bust out a lemon, grapefruit or orange. It will not only raise your immune system but it will also give you a natural boost.

Give these a shot the next time you feel like you are dragging through the day!

Go Hug A Tree!

Have you ever felt disconnected from the world and even the people you love? We are surrounded by machines but we are creatures who need to interact with one another. A machine cannot give us the warmth that we crave. Touch is such an essential part of the human experience. It is restorative and it connects you to other people. Hugs are fantastic! Find someone to hug! Smile. Take a moment and do something silly.

Your body craves to touch the earth, to smell the air, to feel the wind. We are inside so much of the time! Whether I want to or not I have to spend time outside at least twice a day so that my dogs can do their business. It doesn't matter how cold or hot, wet or dry the weather is because we are going to take a walk one way or another. I've learned to embrace those moments as my time to convene with nature. I look at the sky, the moon, the stars and in the morning the dew on the grass, the deer grazing and my dogs sniffing everything possible!

Another thing I try to do is actually touch the earth. When I stand near a tree I make sure to gently place my hand on it and connect with its energy. Everything is made of energy and you can feel it if you just clear your mind and allow the connection to unfold. There are a lot of unkind phrases for people who revere nature so much but there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking your shoes off and feeling the mud on your toes. In fact, it has now been scientifically proven that hugging a tree is good for you!!! Shocking? Not really! We have so much in common with trees, plants, insects and animals so that is why we must share this vast earth together.

I'm a big advocate of taking even a few minutes a day to be outside. This time you should get out there and hug a tree, speak to a plant or a bird, marvel in the colors around you and touch nature!

For more information on tree hugging check out the article below.

http://www.themindunleashed.org/2013/07/tree-hugging-now-scientifically.html

Stay True

Working in a diverse environment can provide for an alluring flow of knowledge and energy. Everyone comes from various backgrounds and experiences. They have so much to offer one another if they are willing to do so. There are a few complications in this realm because it’s always wise to keep personal and business separate as it can lead to various issues. My philosophy is to go in to work with kindness and the willingness to do my best. Keep your personal problems in your personal realm. I would never take out my bad mood from some personal situation on a co-worker. Sadly, I know many people that do in fact take out their aggression on unsuspecting coworkers.

In fact, I was one of those unsuspecting co-workers at one point. I came in early one morning and was grabbing some water, internally repeating my mantra and preparing for a great day at work. A fellow coworker walked in and I greeted her with a cheerful hello expecting a similar response. Instead, she blew up on me and cursed me out. I stood there in shock for a few moments and searched her face for an answer. All I saw was anger and frustration. So I said “excuse me?” in a genuinely confused voice and she repeated her tirade. I took one look at her and abruptly walked away. I was not going to engage in her vile attitude and I decided to simply go back to my desk.

Several hours later I heard that she had had a very bad evening and I was the first person she saw in the morning. I was the unfortunate individual that she took all of her emotions out on from the night before. The reason that I decided not to engage in her unprofessional behavior was because I did not want to meet anger with anger. Not only that but I was not going to allow her behavior to alter my attitude. I was in a great mood and nobody was going to disturb that!

She eventually apologized but the issue with this young woman was that she had a history of unprofessional dialogue at work and she was very negative. I pulled myself away from her path and ensured that her energy would not touch me. I have no hard feelings for her unwarranted attack.

The lesson that I learned was that because of the diversity in the work place; we must learn to adjust and sometimes even move away from individuals who don’t share our values. I don’t mean religious or political ideology. I believe in spreading happiness and knowledge at work instead of negativity and hate. Some people do not and when I interact with those people I am careful that they do not damage my state of mind. It is certainly easy to fall in to the trap when everyone around you is miserable or complaining. My suggestion is to get up from your seat every hour and take a few minutes to stretch, breathe and remind yourself why you are doing the work that you do.

Remember that NO one has the power to change who you are and who you want to be EXCEPT for you!

Alter The Conversation

In order to change how we look at the world we must change the way we view the world and ourselves. Negative self talk appears a lot more than we realize. What is negative self talk? It's telling yourself that you're no good, that you're stupid, not pretty enough, etc. When you tell yourself these things on a daily basis it becomes your reality.

Some of these notions are so ingrained in our belief system that we don't even realize it anymore. One time someone asked me what I did for a living and I answered with an unsatisfied tone and rolled my eyes. I didn't know that I had done this and she quickly pointed it out to me. She asked me why I spoke so negatively about the work that I did. I told her that I hadn't said a word. She then told me that I didn't need to say a word but that it was in my gestures, expressions and posture. I was absolutely stunned. I couldn't think of what to say to her. It was true that I was unsatisfied with my job and my role in the company but I didn't realize that I wore that expression day in and day out! I had allowed these feelings to sink in until they eventually became a part of my demeanor. I knew that it would require my own actions to change the course that I was on but I didn't know that the whole world knew I was miserable.

Negative self talk is something that spreads the more that we engage in it. We feed the beast when we tell ourselves that we are too fat or too skinny, too old, too dumb, too inexperienced. I decided to listen to myself for one day. Every thought that came and went was acknowledged. Was it a negative thought or was it a positive thought? I decided at the end of the day that I would never want to be friends with myself! I saved up all the positivity and kindness for everyone around me but at the end I was downright mean to myself. Who would want such a callous disbeliever as their friend? I sure didn't!

I started listening to myself daily and found a trend of negativity when it came to certain aspects of my life. I chose to focus on those and change the inner dialogue. Each time a negative feeling or thought came up I would address it and then alter the way that I spoke to myself. I took it further by incorporating a "negative thought jar". Each time a negative thought or opinion arose, I put any change I had in the jar. It forced me to stay focused on the way I treated myself.

Here are some transformed thoughts:

"You got a speeding ticket. You're such an idiot, now you have to pay a fine, go to court. What a headache!"
"You got a speeding ticket. Maybe I'll leave a little earlier next time. This was a blessing in disguise because I could have hurt myself or someone else by speeding. A fine is a whole lot better than a car accident!"

"I'm losing my house. My possessions. My livelihood. I'm done. I'm nobody. I'm a loser."
"I'm moving on to new things, new beginnings and I have my health. I am thankful to be alive."

This change in perspective is not something that some can do overnight. Not only that, it's something you must work on daily! Life is constantly tossing flowers and tropical storms our way but we must learn how to embrace our thoughts, let go of the negative and let the positive energy in.

The Mystical Himalayan Salt Lamp

Several years ago I was drawn to a beautiful orange rock structure I found at a local store. It was a tea light holder and so I started collecting them every time I found one. Then I found a lamp version of the very same thing. I started buying the lamps for everyone I knew because I had learned that these beautiful rocks were actually Himalayan Salt Lamps.

Here’s a little history on the potent power of salt. For countless generations, salt has been used for many healing purposes including chronic congestion, breathing difficulties, allergies, asthma, sinus conditions and sore throat. Salt is known for its anti-microbial, anti-bacterial, and anti-fungal properties and was also used to cure meat before refrigerators were invented. Himalayan salt has been said to be the most pollutant free form of salt on the planet!

You can find Himalayan Salt Lamps all over the Internet and at unique stores throughout the United States. Heating the salt lamp releases negative ions into the air, creating an effect similar to an ionizer, purifying the surrounding air. It attracts the humidity in the air which actually causes the surface of the lamp to become moist! This is totally true! I’ve felt it on so many occasions and am always baffled and amazed by how complex our beautiful planet is!

It is also said that if you keep the lamp on, it will help get rid of the effects of electronic air pollution. Most of us are surrounded by electronics on a daily basis. I work on a computer all day, use my cell phone, watch TV, etc. These electronic devices are said to disperse charged ions also known as positive ions while the salt lamp gives off negative ions to help counteract the effects of positively charged ions. Too much exposure to positively charged ions can cause nervousness, stress, sleep problems, trouble concentrating and even an increase of free radical accumulation in the body. It’s ideal to have one of these lamps on where there is a lot of electronic air pollution. I’m considering getting one for the office!

I use mine because it is supposed to be a natural air purifier and leaving it on throughout the night allows for it to emanate a gentle, soothing glow as well as keep my sinuses clear. There isn’t much research about all the benefits surrounding this amazing salt but I’ve been using mine for years and I always feel like the air in my room is clean and contaminate free. I wake up in the morning without the typical sinus issues when I leave the light on overnight. Not only that but I feel calmer with it on and the people around me who have used the lamps and tea lights have said similar things.

The earth provides us with everything. Truly!

Success

I read an amazing article comparing successful and unsuccessful people. It pointed out the basic differences between these two types of individuals. Clearly, success means different things to each of us but I took it at face value and analyzed the points made.

Successful people have a sense of gratitude while unsuccessful people have a sense of entitlement. I wake up every morning with a grateful heart. It might sound cheesy but it has transformed the way that I view life. I am happy to be alive and to have the opportunity to experience another day. I've heard people on the opposite side of the spectrum always say things such as "why is this happening to me?" "why can't I catch a break?" "it's his/her fault that I didn't get X".  I'm not expert but this is not a healthy mentality. I believe that success means that you can own up to your own mistakes and failures. You can find the beauty in everything even though it seems that your life has become a constant abyss of darkness. I'll get in to this more later. I am in NO way stating that this is an easy thing to do.

Successful people exude joy and embrace change while their counterparts fear change and constantly criticize others. I could see why this would make someone happy or unhappy. If you are always putting other people down and are unable to move forward in your journey then you are holding on to some sort of resentment and fear. Exuding joy is infectious. People love to see smiles and hear laughter. There's always something to smile about. ALWAYS.

Successful people keep a to do list and a journal that helps them to set goals and develop life plans. Unsuccessful people don't set goals and think that they know it all. I'm beginning to see a theme here.

It looks like successful people know what they want, are willing to accept change and failure and pick themselves back up again. This is not to say that a successful person is an automaton. They can embrace their feelings but also let them go! Unsuccessful people on the other hand have difficulty letting go of the past, hold grudges and want other people to fail. They are hard on themselves and on others. How can anyone be successful if they can't be happy on a very basic level?

Cultivate Patience

I have always struggled with patience. I’ve set goals for every day of my life and for ten years down the future. What has happened along the way is that if those goals have not been met in a timely manner I have become deeply frustrated and upset with myself. I also noticed that I was always tense trying to make these self-imposed deadlines. Everything was planned. I knew I wanted to get my masters and then my law degree and so on and so forth. I had it all pegged down to a science. For a long time, this plan did work. I kept adding new goals and plans and I felt elated each time something would come to fruition.

What I didn’t plan on was illness. I had several unexpected visits to the hospital and was told that it was stress induced. The problem with my attitude was that I wanted to do so many things that I would burn out. I didn’t take a moment to look at the trees and feel the warm breeze on my skin. I was never fully nourished. I have now recognized that my goals were fantastic but my methods were not. I could never fully quench my thirst or desires. I needed more, more, more. Even illness and repeated doctors’ visits did not change my mind. Instead, I woke up one day and was unhappy. I felt hollow and unfulfilled. I had completed so many of the tasks that I had wanted to and should have been proud of myself. Instead, I was wallowing in misery. I was miserable because I didn’t grant myself time and patience. I couldn’t really experience all the beauty and commitment that went in to all of my efforts because I passed them by without a glance back. What’s the point in getting everything you want but not stop during the journey to recognize the beauty of it?

Patience is something I work on every day. Sometimes I am stuck in traffic and I want to veer in and out of lanes because someone is moving entirely too slow. Other times I want one chapter of my life to end so that I can fast forward to the next. This used to be my state of mind ALL the time! But with practice I have learned to cultivate patience.

Each morning I wake up, stretch, salute the universe and fill my heart with gratitude. I walk my dogs and move slowly so that I can breathe in the air and look at the sky. I move at a slow pace and allow myself patience, which in turn gives my dogs a better sense of peace. They know when I am angry and impatient, trying to force them to hurry up with their business.

I have to catch myself at times. One time I wanted the results of a test so badly that I made myself sick with worry. I couldn’t relax or think of anything else. I was a complete monster!  When I received the results, they were not what I wanted and my impatience turned to bitterness. Bitterness is not fruitful. It leads to disease and other ailments.

The next time I waited for results for another exam I decided that I would busy myself with daily activities instead of obsessing over something completely out of my control. I became so relaxed that I did not even realize that the results were available. I was a winner in this scenario because I received the results that I wanted and I didn’t lose sleep over it!

My advice is that when you start feeling frazzled or impatient just stop the obsessive thoughts by taking a deep fulfilling breath. I have known many women who were frantic with impatience because their significant others were not proposing marriage fast enough. One of them even scared her mate away with her persistent badgering. Instead of doing this to yourself and the ones you love, why not work hard at what you can control and just let the other pieces fall in to place? It’s not always an easy task and I have to remind myself daily to slow down.

It is not the result that is important but the journey you take to achieve the result!!!

Surround Yourself With Positive Energy.

It might take a tragedy in order to recognize who your real friends are and sometimes it takes a tragedy to recognize which friends are no good for you. Some people will stick by your side and provide positive reinforcement, healthy words and a shoulder to cry on. Other people actually enjoy feeding off the negativity and sadness. They are unhappy with something in their lives and they choose to take your breakdown and run with it.

My difficult time happened about a year ago. I started to internalize immediately and there were a few people who truly shocked me in their generosity. Their positivity helped pull me out of the abyss of darkness that I had created in my own mind. There were times I would get annoyed by their unusually bubbly words but later I understood the reason that they said the things that they said.

On the other hand, I had to say goodbye to a good number of friends as well. I realized that the relationship that we fostered was one of negativity and gossip. If the only thing that your friends want to do is speak ill about other people then they are insecure. They carry a heavy burden and sometimes a simple talk can change their path. I will speak more on awakening your family and friends with calm and steady words at a later time. Today, it is your day. Focus on yourself. If you feel uneasy around a friend or coworker then pull away. Try to pinpoint what it is that you don’t feel comfortable with.

I have always been a sensitive person. I often wondered why some people made me nervous, anxious or just plain uncomfortable. Slowly, I began to realize that my senses were telling me that the energy of these people just did not work with mine. Once I began to realize that my body was giving me sacred information, I began to put it to use. I even thanked myself and the universe for so lovingly telling me that I should not be around those people.

I removed myself from certain circles that were not right for me. Instantly, I began to feel better. More energized. These people had become energy vampires and I wanted all of my energy back! I never treated them unkindly but I slowly allowed the relationship to deteriorate or just disappear, which in my opinion was best for both of us. Other people were far more aggressive and accusatory about my intentions. I understood their frustrations and even anger. Sometimes it is not easy to explain that you have changed the way that you look at life and your role in it. I knew more than ever that I had to get away from that type of aggressive and unrelenting energy. It was just all wrong.

Today, I still meet people with energy that doesn’t work with mine. The way that I handle it now is by breathing and asking the universe to give me patience. I accept those people for who they are and I continue to move on through my journey. That’s all you can do really. Encounter, accept and release. 

Fun With Epsom Salt!

I seriously love Epsom Salt. I was introduced to it several years ago and have used it continuously for stress relief and injury. It is a pure mineral compound of magnesium and sulfate so the use of the word "salt" is a bit misleading. Epsom Salt has been used for a number of ailments and has many health benefits. I have used the regular Epsom Salt and the Lavender scented one. So what does one do with this inexpensive product?

I take long, luxurious baths with lots of Epsom Salt in the water. During the winter months my body tends to ache for no reason at all. I love coming home from work and soaking for about 30 minutes. The beauty of this is that Epsom Salt will help with aches and pains, stress and will soften your skin. Also, it removes toxins in your skin by facilitating normal bodily functions. You leave the bath feeling refreshed and relaxed!

Some people add a very small amount of Epsom Salt to their daily skin regiment. It acts like an exfoliant to get rid of dead skin. What I never knew but learned after I began using this fantastic mineral is that magnesium is important to keep enzyme activity regular in your body. Apparently, more than half of all Americans have a magnesium deficiency, which is believed to be a factor in all kinds of health problems.

If you have dry skin, using Epsom Salt will help soothe the trouble spots and leave you with smooth skin.

I have also used Epsom Salt to keep my plants healthy. I will add a couple tablespoons of Epsom Salt to the water when I water the plants. It just seems to make them healthier and apparently it helps to increase chlorophyll production and it deters pests. This is why you can use it on a wide variety of indoor and outdoor plants but make sure to look for proper instructions on how much to use.

I recently found a lotion at CVS that contains Epsom Salt. So if you don't have time for a nice bath or you just have some localized pain then it is a good product to rub on to your skin. It provides relief for me!

I've also used Epsom Salt to reduce the look of bruises on my skin. I tend to bruise very easily and applying a warm compress mixed with a dash of Epsom Salt helps to alleviate the look of the bruise on my skin. 

There are a lot of ways to gain relief by using Epsom Salt but these are just a few. I'm no doctor but it has helped me tremendously with basic stress relief. 

You Are The Maker of Your Happiness

Over the years I have read many books, articles and seen movies that tend to show that happiness is something that is external. These characters fall in love and find their "soul mates", which creates an abundance of happiness in an otherwise sad existence. It's fantastic to find someone to love or to have a family that loves you. Love is a powerful thing!

But did you know that you yourself can be happy without any external stimuli? You don't need a lover to tell you how fabulous you are or to mend your broken wing. I never liked the phrase "You make me happy" because it implies that I can't make myself happy. How about we change it to "You add to my happiness"?
That is a far healthier claim. I think that it isn't a good idea to put so much pressure on another person to bring us happiness. We have the power to be happy and rejoice in ourselves. You don't need another person praising you or telling you how wonderful you are. You are alive and have the ability to change your situation at any moment.

Love the one you're with and adore each other. Enjoy the moments you have with your family and remember the happy moments. Let go of the frustrating ones. Instead of allowing the dialogue to go something like this "you're alone, you must be unhappy" or "I'm all alone in the world"; change is to "I'm never alone and it is my choice to be happy".

The word "alone" tends to terrify a lot of people and it shouldn't. Even if you are physically alone there are millions of other humans and animals who share a connection with you. We all share this planet and globalization has allowed us to reach out and communicate with people we would never have met without such technology. Even if you decide not to use that technology, breathe in the knowledge that you are made of energy and that we are all connected by energy. You are never alone and the word should never scare you.

Find your happiness in whatever form it comes in but make sure that you are happy with yourself and by yourself before you find another person to share all that elation with!

Embrace Your Suffering

A year ago I fought every fiber in my existence because I did not want to experience pain, loneliness, anger and sadness. I tried to mask it with every weapon that I had. Typically my methods of distraction were in the form of working several jobs, watching movies, doing extra chores, helping everyone else with their problems and sometimes I would even partake in some alcoholic beverages.

All these activities only further pushed these negative feelings further down in to the pit of my stomach. I kept rejecting and ignoring them but then I would start feeling intense anxiety and panic. I didn't sleep well and I was always on the verge of mental breakdown. All this because I could not allow myself to FEEL.

Why do we do this? Clearly, it is very unpleasant to go through the emotions involved in the basic things that make us sad or angry. You witnessed your husband or wife cheating on you, you lost a loved one, you are recovering from an assault or any other jolting life event. Who wants to go through all that hurt?

Most times we are told to just move on, let it go or simply not talk about it. This is extremely unhealthy! You are just reinforcing the notion that everything is fine even though it's absolutely not fine. So what if everything is NOT fine anyway? We are human beings and as such we are allowed to feel. We are supposed to feel.
Not every day is beautiful or perfect. Things happen and they change our lives profoundly.

What I believe is that in order to move forward in your life journey, you must be able to embrace your suffering. You are not weak if you cry or if you need to scream your anger to the wind. We are taught to suppress and not just let out those feelings. Instead, embrace those feelings, admit how much they hurt or how angry they make you. Analyze the situation to see what it is that makes you feel the way you do. Allow yourself the time to properly address the issue and when it feels right, move on!

Take one more step and each time your negative, sad emotion comes back to you. Take a deep breath, visualize the issue and imagine releasing it in the wind. Let the beautiful sky take your troubles away. My visualization typically includes a very blue sky, puffy white clouds and a warm breeze. I write my trouble on a piece of paper, fold it up and lift my hands to the sky. The wind naturally takes it away and I thank the universe for helping me through the difficult state of mind.

I want to reinforce that tragedies may happen in our lives and some people will take longer to recover from them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It is not a sign of weakness. My point is that the sooner you embrace the loss, sadness or anger then the sooner you are able to embrace the suffering and move forward on your journey.

Namaste.