Mind Traffic

Sitting through traffic for several hours a day can be quite frustrating. The stop and go motion of the car, all the red break lights, honking, the elevated anger surrounding you. These all take a toll on the way our day begins and continues. I have found myself driving and my shoulders are tense and hands are tightly gripping the wheel. I have to consciously tell myself to relax and release the tension in my shoulders. I try to look around me at all the cars and the people operating them. Obviously I can only have a quick glance in to another person’s life because I have to focus on safety but most of the time I see the same thing. People looking worn, tired and listless. Traffic takes a toll on people. It is aggravating and puts you on edge.

I have tried to come up with ideas on how to combat traffic fatigue because I don’t like the constant tension that I find myself in and I feel that if I don’t take care of it early on then it will freely flow to the rest of my day, wreaking havoc on my happiness.

First thing to do is to give yourself ample time to get where you are going. I know that this is easier said than done. Rushing to get things done seems to be ingrained in our existence. Maybe more so in the United States and in the DC metro area. I have tricks that work for me but may not work for everyone. I will share my methods and perhaps some of them will resonate with you!

1)   When the alarm goes off in the morning I do not hit the snooze button. Boy am I tempted to sometimes! But various studies have shown that the amount of time that the snooze button gives you is not ample for any productive sleep so when I hear that alarm I instantly begin to stretch. A sun salutation and a few arm circles. I like to add in a forward bend with child’s pose to activate all of my muscles. When I’m feeling overzealous I will take to a yoga video for 30 minutes.

2)    I thank the universe for giving me another minute, hour, day to live. There are no certainties and I could have passed on in my sleep but I didn’t! I am here, now, today!

3)    I put on a happy song, dance and sing while I put on my work clothes. I have two dogs so I typically engage my dogs in these silly routines. They need to feel the love too! I’ll sing to them and dance with them and I believe that even with the passive looks on their faces, they are actually enjoying themselves.

4)   Take a brisk walk with the dogs. While I am walking I choose to notice the beauty of the morning. This morning it was very dark but there was this captivating wind coming from all around. The trees were swaying in harmony and I took a moment to close my eyes and listen. Naturally that brief moment put a smile on my face. Bring it on world!

5)  While in the car I will listen to meditation music if I am awake enough but then I will mix it up with a dose of upbeat music and talk radio. I choose to stay away from the news in the morning and I also steer away from traffic reports. It is what it is. I don’t want to wake up to tragic news and hearing how jammed the entire area is won’t help to put me in a good mood.

6)     I clear my mind and look at all the different cars and the people in them. I wonder what those people go through every day. Some people are eating a quick breakfast while others are smoking a cigarette. I’ve even seen people reading! I’m not judging them based on the safety of their actions. Instead, I like to see how similar we all are. If I catch someone’s gaze I will flash a smile or a wave. A lot of people look away immediately and some are visibly annoyed by my chipper interaction. In fact, my own sister doesn’t appreciate my happy morning side. I don’t know where I get it from but it’s there!

7)     If traffic is really bad I turn my attention to my breath. Steady, deep breathing helps balance my brain and bring me back to peace.

8)  The tenseness in my shoulders and arms is something I have to pay attention to constantly. Every ten minutes I do a body scan to see how each part of my body is feeling. That is when I notice that I am holding tension in a particular spot. If it’s my shoulders, I release the tensions, roll them a few times and imagine my healing breath going straight to the spot that needs the attention.

9)   Don’t engage in the constantly shifting lanes and getting aggressive just to pass one or two cars. It’s not worth it! If the traffic is that bad then moving a few feet just to pass someone going gravely slow will not change anything. It will only aggravate you more and bring back tension. Move steadily and safely.

10)  Get some fresh air if possible. Open the window and feel nature. It’s simply refreshing.

Traffic can turn a good day in to a bad one without us even realizing it. Let’s try to change the congestion in to something that helps clarify our thoughts and energize us for the day ahead.

Cultivate Patience

I have always struggled with patience. I’ve set goals for every day of my life and for ten years down the future. What has happened along the way is that if those goals have not been met in a timely manner I have become deeply frustrated and upset with myself. I also noticed that I was always tense trying to make these self-imposed deadlines. Everything was planned. I knew I wanted to get my masters and then my law degree and so on and so forth. I had it all pegged down to a science. For a long time, this plan did work. I kept adding new goals and plans and I felt elated each time something would come to fruition.

What I didn’t plan on was illness. I had several unexpected visits to the hospital and was told that it was stress induced. The problem with my attitude was that I wanted to do so many things that I would burn out. I didn’t take a moment to look at the trees and feel the warm breeze on my skin. I was never fully nourished. I have now recognized that my goals were fantastic but my methods were not. I could never fully quench my thirst or desires. I needed more, more, more. Even illness and repeated doctors’ visits did not change my mind. Instead, I woke up one day and was unhappy. I felt hollow and unfulfilled. I had completed so many of the tasks that I had wanted to and should have been proud of myself. Instead, I was wallowing in misery. I was miserable because I didn’t grant myself time and patience. I couldn’t really experience all the beauty and commitment that went in to all of my efforts because I passed them by without a glance back. What’s the point in getting everything you want but not stop during the journey to recognize the beauty of it?

Patience is something I work on every day. Sometimes I am stuck in traffic and I want to veer in and out of lanes because someone is moving entirely too slow. Other times I want one chapter of my life to end so that I can fast forward to the next. This used to be my state of mind ALL the time! But with practice I have learned to cultivate patience.

Each morning I wake up, stretch, salute the universe and fill my heart with gratitude. I walk my dogs and move slowly so that I can breathe in the air and look at the sky. I move at a slow pace and allow myself patience, which in turn gives my dogs a better sense of peace. They know when I am angry and impatient, trying to force them to hurry up with their business.

I have to catch myself at times. One time I wanted the results of a test so badly that I made myself sick with worry. I couldn’t relax or think of anything else. I was a complete monster!  When I received the results, they were not what I wanted and my impatience turned to bitterness. Bitterness is not fruitful. It leads to disease and other ailments.

The next time I waited for results for another exam I decided that I would busy myself with daily activities instead of obsessing over something completely out of my control. I became so relaxed that I did not even realize that the results were available. I was a winner in this scenario because I received the results that I wanted and I didn’t lose sleep over it!

My advice is that when you start feeling frazzled or impatient just stop the obsessive thoughts by taking a deep fulfilling breath. I have known many women who were frantic with impatience because their significant others were not proposing marriage fast enough. One of them even scared her mate away with her persistent badgering. Instead of doing this to yourself and the ones you love, why not work hard at what you can control and just let the other pieces fall in to place? It’s not always an easy task and I have to remind myself daily to slow down.

It is not the result that is important but the journey you take to achieve the result!!!