A Challenge

Some days go by quickly. We hardly realize how we got dressed, made it through the day and fell back in to bed. It's almost like we are programmed to act and be the way that we are so that we don't have to ponder the big questions. Then there are other days when you are jolted by something massive that shatters your seemingly quiet equilibrium. On these days we get shocked, exhausted, humiliated, angry or sad because not only has something occurred to rattle us but we have been awoken from our dream like state.

I have had several such jolts to the system in the recent months. I have tried to live in the moment and experience all that I can but sometimes I fall back to a simple place of complacency. The routine takes over and I forget what makes life so special.

What did I do with the recent sad, angry, unfortunate news that rattled my life? At first I did nothing. I allowed it all to hit me like a wave crashing on to the sand. It was cold and unforgiving. I closed my eyes and tried to blink it away but even with red, stinging eyes; I knew that I could not escape the news that had set my family ablaze. But I didn't want to escape it. I allowed all those sensations to overcome me. I embraced each one and was mindful of how it all made me feel. Difficulties will arise with little notice and they can make us both physically and mentally ill. I knew that I could not allow myself to be dragged down. I had worked so hard on gratitude practice that it would be a true shame to lose out now!

So I wrote, I cried, I sang, I read, I walked, I laughed, I ate, I watched movies, basked in the sun, hid in the shadows. I did it all. It was all the nourishment that I needed for my body and soul. People often want to encourage you not to cry and to stay tough in the face of tragedy but I know that it allowing emotion to arise and paying attention to it is far better than becoming numb. I was numb for the majority of my life. I will not let that happen again!

Surround Yourself With Positive Energy.

It might take a tragedy in order to recognize who your real friends are and sometimes it takes a tragedy to recognize which friends are no good for you. Some people will stick by your side and provide positive reinforcement, healthy words and a shoulder to cry on. Other people actually enjoy feeding off the negativity and sadness. They are unhappy with something in their lives and they choose to take your breakdown and run with it.

My difficult time happened about a year ago. I started to internalize immediately and there were a few people who truly shocked me in their generosity. Their positivity helped pull me out of the abyss of darkness that I had created in my own mind. There were times I would get annoyed by their unusually bubbly words but later I understood the reason that they said the things that they said.

On the other hand, I had to say goodbye to a good number of friends as well. I realized that the relationship that we fostered was one of negativity and gossip. If the only thing that your friends want to do is speak ill about other people then they are insecure. They carry a heavy burden and sometimes a simple talk can change their path. I will speak more on awakening your family and friends with calm and steady words at a later time. Today, it is your day. Focus on yourself. If you feel uneasy around a friend or coworker then pull away. Try to pinpoint what it is that you don’t feel comfortable with.

I have always been a sensitive person. I often wondered why some people made me nervous, anxious or just plain uncomfortable. Slowly, I began to realize that my senses were telling me that the energy of these people just did not work with mine. Once I began to realize that my body was giving me sacred information, I began to put it to use. I even thanked myself and the universe for so lovingly telling me that I should not be around those people.

I removed myself from certain circles that were not right for me. Instantly, I began to feel better. More energized. These people had become energy vampires and I wanted all of my energy back! I never treated them unkindly but I slowly allowed the relationship to deteriorate or just disappear, which in my opinion was best for both of us. Other people were far more aggressive and accusatory about my intentions. I understood their frustrations and even anger. Sometimes it is not easy to explain that you have changed the way that you look at life and your role in it. I knew more than ever that I had to get away from that type of aggressive and unrelenting energy. It was just all wrong.

Today, I still meet people with energy that doesn’t work with mine. The way that I handle it now is by breathing and asking the universe to give me patience. I accept those people for who they are and I continue to move on through my journey. That’s all you can do really. Encounter, accept and release.