A Challenge

Some days go by quickly. We hardly realize how we got dressed, made it through the day and fell back in to bed. It's almost like we are programmed to act and be the way that we are so that we don't have to ponder the big questions. Then there are other days when you are jolted by something massive that shatters your seemingly quiet equilibrium. On these days we get shocked, exhausted, humiliated, angry or sad because not only has something occurred to rattle us but we have been awoken from our dream like state.

I have had several such jolts to the system in the recent months. I have tried to live in the moment and experience all that I can but sometimes I fall back to a simple place of complacency. The routine takes over and I forget what makes life so special.

What did I do with the recent sad, angry, unfortunate news that rattled my life? At first I did nothing. I allowed it all to hit me like a wave crashing on to the sand. It was cold and unforgiving. I closed my eyes and tried to blink it away but even with red, stinging eyes; I knew that I could not escape the news that had set my family ablaze. But I didn't want to escape it. I allowed all those sensations to overcome me. I embraced each one and was mindful of how it all made me feel. Difficulties will arise with little notice and they can make us both physically and mentally ill. I knew that I could not allow myself to be dragged down. I had worked so hard on gratitude practice that it would be a true shame to lose out now!

So I wrote, I cried, I sang, I read, I walked, I laughed, I ate, I watched movies, basked in the sun, hid in the shadows. I did it all. It was all the nourishment that I needed for my body and soul. People often want to encourage you not to cry and to stay tough in the face of tragedy but I know that it allowing emotion to arise and paying attention to it is far better than becoming numb. I was numb for the majority of my life. I will not let that happen again!

Accepting the Unexpected

There are many times when I am left in a state of surprise when the universe decides to rattle my core. A lot of times we fail to recognize the importance of the moment we are in. I have tried to keep my eyes fully open as I walk to and from my destination. Enjoying the movement of my legs, the energy, the blood flowing through my veins and the steady heartbeat. 

There are other times when we want the experience to end as soon as possible. Recently I was put in a situation that caught me completely off guard. I was forced to be in the moment even though the easiest thing to do would have been to mentally check out. It is truly amazing how the body and mind work. Everything in your existence wants to shield you from negativity. The brain shuts down certain parts while the body braces for shock. We are such magnificent creatures! But in this instance, I wanted to feel it. I have been on a long journey of self awareness and one of the things that I have worked towards is feeling everything. 

I want to cry and scream when it is necessary. I want to laugh out loud and smile when truly elated. So I try to accept the unexpected. It is not an easy thing to do! I am grateful for the good and the bad. I have been shaped by experience and even more importantly, my reactions to those experiences. 

Even the unexpected is welcome.

Success

I read an amazing article comparing successful and unsuccessful people. It pointed out the basic differences between these two types of individuals. Clearly, success means different things to each of us but I took it at face value and analyzed the points made.

Successful people have a sense of gratitude while unsuccessful people have a sense of entitlement. I wake up every morning with a grateful heart. It might sound cheesy but it has transformed the way that I view life. I am happy to be alive and to have the opportunity to experience another day. I've heard people on the opposite side of the spectrum always say things such as "why is this happening to me?" "why can't I catch a break?" "it's his/her fault that I didn't get X".  I'm not expert but this is not a healthy mentality. I believe that success means that you can own up to your own mistakes and failures. You can find the beauty in everything even though it seems that your life has become a constant abyss of darkness. I'll get in to this more later. I am in NO way stating that this is an easy thing to do.

Successful people exude joy and embrace change while their counterparts fear change and constantly criticize others. I could see why this would make someone happy or unhappy. If you are always putting other people down and are unable to move forward in your journey then you are holding on to some sort of resentment and fear. Exuding joy is infectious. People love to see smiles and hear laughter. There's always something to smile about. ALWAYS.

Successful people keep a to do list and a journal that helps them to set goals and develop life plans. Unsuccessful people don't set goals and think that they know it all. I'm beginning to see a theme here.

It looks like successful people know what they want, are willing to accept change and failure and pick themselves back up again. This is not to say that a successful person is an automaton. They can embrace their feelings but also let them go! Unsuccessful people on the other hand have difficulty letting go of the past, hold grudges and want other people to fail. They are hard on themselves and on others. How can anyone be successful if they can't be happy on a very basic level?

Surround Yourself With Positive Energy.

It might take a tragedy in order to recognize who your real friends are and sometimes it takes a tragedy to recognize which friends are no good for you. Some people will stick by your side and provide positive reinforcement, healthy words and a shoulder to cry on. Other people actually enjoy feeding off the negativity and sadness. They are unhappy with something in their lives and they choose to take your breakdown and run with it.

My difficult time happened about a year ago. I started to internalize immediately and there were a few people who truly shocked me in their generosity. Their positivity helped pull me out of the abyss of darkness that I had created in my own mind. There were times I would get annoyed by their unusually bubbly words but later I understood the reason that they said the things that they said.

On the other hand, I had to say goodbye to a good number of friends as well. I realized that the relationship that we fostered was one of negativity and gossip. If the only thing that your friends want to do is speak ill about other people then they are insecure. They carry a heavy burden and sometimes a simple talk can change their path. I will speak more on awakening your family and friends with calm and steady words at a later time. Today, it is your day. Focus on yourself. If you feel uneasy around a friend or coworker then pull away. Try to pinpoint what it is that you don’t feel comfortable with.

I have always been a sensitive person. I often wondered why some people made me nervous, anxious or just plain uncomfortable. Slowly, I began to realize that my senses were telling me that the energy of these people just did not work with mine. Once I began to realize that my body was giving me sacred information, I began to put it to use. I even thanked myself and the universe for so lovingly telling me that I should not be around those people.

I removed myself from certain circles that were not right for me. Instantly, I began to feel better. More energized. These people had become energy vampires and I wanted all of my energy back! I never treated them unkindly but I slowly allowed the relationship to deteriorate or just disappear, which in my opinion was best for both of us. Other people were far more aggressive and accusatory about my intentions. I understood their frustrations and even anger. Sometimes it is not easy to explain that you have changed the way that you look at life and your role in it. I knew more than ever that I had to get away from that type of aggressive and unrelenting energy. It was just all wrong.

Today, I still meet people with energy that doesn’t work with mine. The way that I handle it now is by breathing and asking the universe to give me patience. I accept those people for who they are and I continue to move on through my journey. That’s all you can do really. Encounter, accept and release.