Some days go by quickly. We hardly realize how we got dressed, made it through the day and fell back in to bed. It's almost like we are programmed to act and be the way that we are so that we don't have to ponder the big questions. Then there are other days when you are jolted by something massive that shatters your seemingly quiet equilibrium. On these days we get shocked, exhausted, humiliated, angry or sad because not only has something occurred to rattle us but we have been awoken from our dream like state.
I have had several such jolts to the system in the recent months. I have tried to live in the moment and experience all that I can but sometimes I fall back to a simple place of complacency. The routine takes over and I forget what makes life so special.
What did I do with the recent sad, angry, unfortunate news that rattled my life? At first I did nothing. I allowed it all to hit me like a wave crashing on to the sand. It was cold and unforgiving. I closed my eyes and tried to blink it away but even with red, stinging eyes; I knew that I could not escape the news that had set my family ablaze. But I didn't want to escape it. I allowed all those sensations to overcome me. I embraced each one and was mindful of how it all made me feel. Difficulties will arise with little notice and they can make us both physically and mentally ill. I knew that I could not allow myself to be dragged down. I had worked so hard on gratitude practice that it would be a true shame to lose out now!
So I wrote, I cried, I sang, I read, I walked, I laughed, I ate, I watched movies, basked in the sun, hid in the shadows. I did it all. It was all the nourishment that I needed for my body and soul. People often want to encourage you not to cry and to stay tough in the face of tragedy but I know that it allowing emotion to arise and paying attention to it is far better than becoming numb. I was numb for the majority of my life. I will not let that happen again!
